Not so much waving, as drowning......

So another week has passed, but this time without a run.

I had every intention of running the 4 mile route on Saturday with Ant. I was out at work in the morning, but home by 10.00. I was then due out at the Nene Whitewater Centre in Northampton in the afternoon for a white water safety session, followed by a play on the course. This session started at 3.00PM, so plenty of time to have a run, and recover.

Or that was plan, right up to the point where I found out I was getting picked up at 1.30. So by the time I'd had breakfast and what have you after work, there wasn't time to spend an hour running and recover in time for kayaking. Quite a large part of me feels bad about missing the run, but I've been wanting to have a go at the Nene Centre for ages. I drive past it almost daily at work, but I've never had the chance before, so I jumped at it this time.

As I was in the first time group, I haven't yet found any photos of me actually in a kayak, although I hope I find some. The only photos I can find are of me jumping in as part of the swimmer rescue session we did, and me waiting to rescue someone. Although it looks like I'm about to practice my batting swing! And since that's river water, it wasn't especially warm either!!

I did manage a bit more exercise on the Sunday too. A group of us gathered at another friend's house to play Welly Football. This goes much as you've guessed: it's football in wellies. It's officially for the kids, but since there was only 2 of them, and me carrying my little Son, to 7 adults the groups were mixed. It's not quite a 4 mile run, but it got the heart rate up and a bit of a sweat on so not a waste of the weekend either.

I'm also not sure if I'll get a run in next weekend either, as I'm on call at work. If things are quiet, I will do my best to get out but I won't promise anything!

The drugs don't work, but they're not making me worse.....

Following last week's run, I decided it was best to see the Docs about my coughing and general asthma being a pain. Despite doubling my regular dose of inhaler, it was having no effect. So the Doc prescribed a course of oral steroids to help whilst my cold/manflu/case of what ever it is.

Unfortunately, they don't seem to have had much of an effect. My coughing is just as bad, but I'm not coughing up much gunk any more which is something I suppose. However, come this afternoon I was at Ant's again, and facing doing the 4 mile run that we did the first week. Things started less than perfectly given that I only made it a few hundred yards before stopping to cough so hard it felt like I was going to be sick. I had feared this would happen, but having expected it made it easier to push past it. At least until I needed to stop again maybe half a mile down the track.

But thankfully, as with my second run, my lungs did seem to get the idea that this was happening and they stopped putting up such a fight and got on with their job. It did help that I had walked up the big first hill as that taxed me quite heavily before, and as I have a kayaking trip in the morning I wasn't willing to jeopardise it by going at it full on. I was still struggling with keeping my rhythm, but it felt like I was doing a better job of maintaining it. Ant thinks my stride pattern is becoming nice and even, although I do have a habit of feeling like I'm going too slowly and wanting to stride out and speed up. One day I'll be able to do that, but I'm not ready for it yet!!

As is going to become obligatory, there are the usual photos that Ant insists on taking of me looking awesome. And I still hate running across ploughed fields.

 One thing that is a plus is that I've not used my inhaler once today, but I did need to stop for coughing fits three or four times as well as slow to a walk in a few places. So whilst my lungs may not feel much better, they do appear to be slightly less second rate than two weeks ago. And that has had an effect on the run time. This weeks run took 50 minutes and 39 seconds despite the walking. It wasn't lightening fast, but a touch more than 2 minutes faster than last time, which is a fair improvement given my asthma and that this is only my third run. If I hadn't had to stop and cough so much I suspect it would have been under 50 minutes, which is the next goal.

Whilst the run was quicker, I still look slightly less than awesome than usual when I finished. Although Ant does have a habit of capturing me at only my very finest.

As with before, I felt better than I had expected. But when you expect to be a quivering wreck, I don't suppose that's too much of a feat. But it was clear that given the final section of run is all uphill, that I couldn't have made it much further. Equally, I guess a training run should push me to my limits of endurance, and it's doing just that!

Saturday's Run

Bit late updating this, but I only got the post run photo and run map yesterday over dinner.

Since I'd spent the last week feeling like my lungs where trying to exit via which bit of me was closest, along with the ever delightful Autumnal snotty nose, I wasn't expecting this Saturday to go well, and maybe not happen at all given the poor weather.

Ant's sage advice was that he doesn't usually run with a cold. And I was thoroughly in agreement with him. But I still found myself at his door for 10am ready, if not 100% willing, to go for a run. And I was slightly more prepared than last week too.

Since Aldi had a running and cycling event on Thursday, I decided to stop in and see what they had. And for £20 I managed to come away with a compression base layer and a very bright top for when I start doing a mid-week run after work. Never having worn a compression base layer, I found wearing one to be a tad disconcerting. Wearing lycra shorts for playing rugby is one thing, wearing a second skin on the top half is quite another. If I were of a slightly different mind, I could almost go so far as to say it's a touch erotic being hugged all over so closely when you move!!

But enough of that! This week's run was a shorter and slightly flatter route in deference to me being on death's door. And we were accompanied by four dogs; Ant's pair and his friend's less well behaved pair. They proved to be both a pain and a welcome excuse to stop for a break when they buggered off after the pheasants! They also meant that the time for the run was somewhat off last week's pace as they needed putting on and off the lead as we passed horse yards and roads. However, I am still really struggling with running on ploughed fields and maintaining a rhythm for my breathing. Keeping my breathing at a roughly constant rate is going to be key to conquering my asthma. When I stumble, it knocks my rhythm and that usually means I have to slow my pace or drop back to a walk whilst I recover. But I am getting better at it, and Ant thinks my running is smoother and improved from last week, so there are some early signs of progress. Look, I even managed something resembling a smile for the post-run photo with his dogs!!

The run was only 3.1 miles but took 50 minutes this time. Not too bad given the dogs, which were returned whilst we were out but equally not all that fast either. I was also pleasantly surprised at how much the run cleared my lungs. I had expected quite the opposite but I managed to go without using my inhaler once. And further to my surprise I managed to find enough in the tank to sprint the last 35 yards or so. Perhaps I'm not pushing myself hard enough when out?!

A minor retraction....

For my fourth post, I have been asked to print a correction, of all things! Ordinarily, should I mention my other half online she dislikes it. But having read the blog so far, she's instead complained about not being mentioned and it's just photos she dislikes!!

So, to correct part of the original story to better reflect her involvement, it was she who first noticed the lump on my head. It was also her who reminded a few weeks later to have another look at it at which point it was plain I needed to go see the Docs soonest.

So there you go dear, you've been included and your part explained!

Not so chirpy now......

Having woken up this morning, I now feel far worse than I did yesterday. Which is to be expected I suppose for the first few weeks or months. My legs feel fine, but I'm coughing quite a lot and my ribs ache loads too. My inhalers help, but not as much as I would like! Damn having a second rate pair of lungs.

First run done!!

Whilst I should have sorted this blog out yesterday so that I could post after my first run, I forgot. So this is the update from this morning's run.

During the week I finally managed to get myself into Sports Direct in Northampton to see about some cross country running shoes. They have a wide ranging sale on at the moment, and the shoes that I was looking at were 50% off, as were a matching pack of socks. So I'm now the proud owner of a rather bright pair of running shoes, the first I have ever owned! But having dug my lycra shorts out, it seems they're well past their best and I'll need to get some new ones as well as a base layer or two for the top half.

So kitted up I went off to see Anthony for my first run at 10 this morning. I was a bit nervous, but just as keen to get started and see how it went. And this is the obligatory pre-run photo showing my 16 St of pure awesome, and just outside a pub too!

The route was Ant's usual dog running route and measures 3.95 miles according to his Iphone. It's just about all cross country, with grass and stone tracks, recently ploughed fields and some hills. I hadn't really understood what this meant before starting out. I now know that I often struggle to walk, let along run on ploughed fields and I hate hills. But being a stubborn git does have it's plus points. Unfortunately they're currently out-balanced by my asthma! Ant, being the good mate he is, managed to take a photo of me when I wasn't watching that makes me look like a complete muppet too. But it does show I was actually out there!

I would love to say that I made the run without stopping, but that would be a lie. I think I had to stop 3 times to use my inhaler and slowed to a walk to get my breathing back under control quite a few more times than that. I was nearly sick twice, but managed to not be. So 52 mins 47 secs after starting we completed the loop. And I was not looking my best:

Much to my surprise I didn't feel like death warmed up, despite it being the farthest I've run since being made to do the yearly cross country run at school. My joints feel fine, even the knee I trashed the ligaments in years back. My lungs however are just about recovering and I stopped running 12 hours ago. I'm really hoping next week is a little easier, but this has given me a glimmer of hope that I can do this.

A bit about me and why I'm putting myself through all the pain that will follow

Let's get this bit out of the way shall we?

My name is Simon and in November 2011 I was first suspected of suffering from skin cancer. This was not the news I was expecting when I told my Doctor one day that I thought I had bashed the top of my head whilst working under my car and now had a lump. I was sent to the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford to one of their investigatory clinics so they could have a quick look, chop it off and send me on my way. Or that was the plan anyway. This is said lump:

In the end I was there for four hours. And you know it's bad when the Doc asks if he can call in the students and registrar as "They don't often get to see these." Oh jolly good. So they cut a big hole in the top of my head and sent it off to be looked at under a microscope. As you've probably gather by now the news was not all roses.

It turned out that I had developed, if that's the right word, a case of malignant melanoma, one of the more aggressive types of skin cancer. So I was rushed back down to the JR sharpish for a wide area excision. In plain English, cutting a great big hole in the top of my head in an effort to remove all the cancerous cells. This leaves you with an amazing sponge stapled (yes, stapled) to your head and a patch on the thigh where you used to have skin before they stuck it to your head. And yes, it really is that big. This was also when I first met my MacMillan Skin Cancer nurse, Heidi. She's a tiny little thing, but brilliant all the same. How she does her job I will never know, as I start to well up just typing this!! There's no way in hell that I could ever tell someone the bad news.

Under the sponge is a full depth skin excision which I shall spare you the photo of because I hate looking at the ones I took at the time. Suffice to say it looked like someone had put a hot mug of tea on top of a waxwork head and then painted the hole red.

So all is well now, yes? Well for a few months it was. As part of the surgery the Doctors try to search for escaped cells. Unfortunately, my scans showed nothing as the radioactive dye had disappeared. However, the big lump that appeared behind my ear did indicate something nasty had gotten away. Further scans, using a different technique, showed a series of cancerous sites in the lymph nodes down my neck. Now that was not a happy day and is not one I think of if I can help it. It's easily the darkest time in my life so far, as I knew just what having the cancer spread could mean for me. And I don't look good all in black as it is.

Thankfully, there is a hospital in Oxford called the Churchill. And it's a shiny new cancer and haematology unit. Between them and the JR, I spent a few hours being prodded and poked before spending 9 1/2 hours under the knife of Mr Potter and his senior registrar. Worryingly, Mr Potter looks younger than I do, but it appears he knows his stuff! The op has a rather fancy title of radical neck dissection and a superficial parotidectomy. In plan English, this is cutting a bloody great hole in your face and neck. And you get to wake up looking a little bit like Frankenstein. You'll have to excuse the silly look, as taking a photo of the side of you neck with an Ipad is difficult.

So 17 days later the drains were removed from my neck, and I was finally allowed out of hospital to go home. Thankfully, I seem to heal quickly as I was down to this stage already:

And time has gone on from this point, with me getting a three monthly prod and a poke from what I always hope is going to be one of the cute young female Doctors and not the hairy old men. So far it's about a 50:50 hit rate!

Not long after my big op, I also became a Dad to my beautiful little Noah, who is now my reason for being, as I'm sure most Dads will understand. Knowing he was on the way gave me every reason to fight what ever cancer could throw at me. I just hope he never has to see me in hospital.


And that leads me to where I am now. I have been thinking for some time that I wanted to at least try to give something back to MacMillan and also Cancer Research UK, as without their tireless work I may not be able to sit here typing this whilst trying and failing to keep the dust from my eyes. I'm sure it's dust. It must be, can't possibly be tears.........

So what to do? Skydive? Turns out that I'm too heavy to do a tandem jump, and I wanted something more personally involving. Give something up? Not really me. Running the London Marathon? Certainly not me, as I hate running and haven't done so since I left school 12 years ago.

So the Marathon it was. This will be hard, possibly the hardest thing I've ever done; I will hate it and there will be days I never want to see a pair of running shoes again. But I can think of few things that will mean more than when I cross the finish line, probably being kicked the entire way by my running partner Hannah. Thankfully, she's not the only person I know able to help. I have another good friend in Anthony who will help me with getting started and he's also said he'd go with me to half marathon distance. Without them both, I have no hope at all of being successful.

I will update this before and after every run, assuming I remember, and when ever something happens so my progress, thoughts and feelings can be tracked and hopefully someone out there will get just a hint of inspiration from all this. And I will be honest, there will be fund raising, cajoling and just plain threatening people for money at several stages!

And if anyone knows how to run a Marathon for as little effort as possible, your advice would be appreciated!!